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Thursday, 03. May 2007 - 21:11

If Linux distributions were women [Update]

Dieser Beitrag ist auch in deutsch verfügbar (empfohlen).

I'm proud I'm allowed to present the translationed version of the text “If Linux distributions were women“ which was originally released by Magnus Niemann.

And now let's go on.

Jingoistic, politicaly incorrect, but to be honest: When I'm already claiming that linux users have a deeper relationship with their operating system, I can compare distributions with women.


The chick you hit on in a bar (or a linux-install party). As quick as you land in bed with her, she disappears the next morning.


The woman for a rock stable relationship, but her down-to-earth-kind and her lacking willingness to try something new, let you leer after others.


A south-african beauty - intelligent, full of passion and with a great heart, she's fascinating you very quickly. If you take up with her, be careful - it can last your whole life. Except for the case, she eventually wants to have money from you in the future. Her sister Kubuntu is just using a little bit more make-up.


Your puppy love. You met her during your school time and she was always a little bit cuter and more affable than her friends (Slackware, Debian). Soon the relationship was getting closer, the wedding bells were ringing. But after long, unagitated years, you had to realize that she has changed. She was getting moody and her disposition got on your wick more and more. Bravely you tried to stay the course, finally the years shouldn't be lost. But after she was starting to become touchy from morning to evening and you can't do the right things for her, you decided to dump her.


She's painting her face like a prostitue, she's acting like a prostitute, but for all intents and purposes she has a good heart.


The “Do-It-Yourself-Woman”. A somewhat harsh charm and she always has something to tinker. In return she is very flexible and she's learning fast. Why always looking on the appearance?

To be continued…

Thanks to Magnus for giving the permission and to my two translation-editor-girls. (Smiley: smile)

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Last update of this entry was at: Monday, 13. August 2007 - 22:29


  1. Maggi (Website) wrote at 04/05/07 - 00:39:04
    Nice work, Philipp. Now let's have some more distributions ...
  2. Steve wrote at 27/06/07 - 19:35:25
    Specifically, I'd like to see Fedora, RedHat and Slackware added to the list.
  3. Tim wrote at 27/06/07 - 20:31:02
    Gentoo is actually an inflatable doll. Don't be fooled. Also, don't assume an electric pump is included.

    I almost daren't say my primary OS is Windows, knowing what description would be given of "her". I like Kubuntu as well, though.
  4. Nikesh (Website) wrote at 28/06/07 - 12:11:47
    You really got a very impressive site, Good work.

  5. Sivanandhan, P. (Website) wrote at 28/06/07 - 13:49:08
    Nice really nice but you forgot "Fedora the Witch"
  6. Philipp Söhnlein (Website) wrote at 29/06/07 - 15:15:27
    Hey Folks,

    thanks for your comments. There's a sequel of this post, but I didn't translate it yet. Stay tuned, now I have some time left again, so I'll make the translation in the next days. And yes, the second part includes Slackware and Fedora. (Smiley: smile)
  7. Philipp Söhnlein (Website) wrote at 13/08/07 - 22:31:26
    Finally I had the time, to translate the second part into english, too.
    Have fun at http://geeks-have-feelings-too.net/if-linux-distributions-were-women-part-2/
  8. mike (Website) wrote at 30/01/08 - 01:31:42
    i dont see whats up with ubuntu eventually wanting money. On the CDs it says "ubuntu will always be free of charge"
  9. Philipp Söhnlein (Website) wrote at 30/01/08 - 09:32:11
    @mike: Yeah, but what if Shuttleworth couldn't wait any longer and wants to make money out of Ubuntu now?
    I like what he is doing, but maybe his targets are not realistic enogh.

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